4th Ex-Wife

 

I have a friend that has been married three times. Whenever he talks about a wife, he refers to them as “my 1^st ex-wife” or “my 3^rd soon-to-be ex-wife.” He is very sarcastic and funny, and I truly do not think he means what he calls his current wife, but I cannot imagine being married three times.

We had beers recently and he introduced me to a person at the bar as his 4^th Ex-Wife. It was delightfully wicked. It was funny because I truly believe he loves wife #3, and she’s a keeper.

The reason for this story is that recently I heard of two different couples close to me that are getting divorced. It’s so damn sad when relationships don’t work out, but I’m constantly flabbergasted with how easy it is to get split nowadays. My own divorce took a couple of weeks and a court decision that took all of 5 minutes. I’m sorry, but that’s just scandalous. I felt that the four years of my marriage didn’t mean a thing, because I was so suddenly single. It was disappointing, to say the least.

Nothing that involves two people, especially when children are involved, should be this easy (legally).

I had a pastor one time who really disliked performing marriages. This pastor firmly believed that a marriage is a civil contract, not a religious one, and that marriages should be performed by a judge or the like. I honestly agree. I think it would be much harder to break a contract than to break a vow to God.

God is used to broken vows. Contracts are iron-clad.

I should clarify one thing - I AM NOT ANTI-DIVORCE - but it’s just heartbreaking when people don’t try. When couples don’t exhaust all options before making life-changing decisions (especially when these decisions involve children).  It’s especially crushing when a divorce is one-sided. I’m not judging anyone for their decision, especially when there are truly irreconcilable differences, and both parties are living miserable, loveless lives. In all honesty I’m an ADVOCATE for some divorces! All I’m saying is that it’s sad. I’m sad for my friends who are ending their marriage.

I’ve been married once, and I don’t intend to ever get married again. I haven’t even been on a date for over 6 years. If I ever find another person to love, I’m going full Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn all the way. Unless of course the man is very old and very rich, cause I’m not gonna give up that payday.

#goals

Diabeetus

DISCLAIMER: I know there are a lot of you out there suffering with diabetes, and even worse, dealing with Type 1 diabetes. In this writing I am in no way trying to downplay your experience. However, my experience is my own, and is not a comparison to your personal journey. Also, I realize I did this to myself, so don't even.

My dudes. A couple of months ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which is probably the most disappointing diagnosis I’ve had for all time. It frickin’ sucked to see my numbers over 300, and it explained a lot of my issues with fatigue, numbness, and vision. Even my ridiculous issue with insomnia (guess what, I’m full of sugar). It’s a real bummer.

However, even in the face of this new reality, I was not vigilant. I still ate what I wanted, self-sabotaging like I do. I sat on my ass, like I do. I got a glucose meter and maintained my high 300 numbers… like I do. I was not performing at my highest level.

My doctor was not thrilled. At my latest teledoc appointment, after reviewing more depressing bloodwork, Doctor Bobby gave me some shit, and some tough love. Even more tragic, he mentioned insulin injections. SCREW THAT.

I am officially OVER diabetes.

Since that appointment I’ve really been trying to improve my lifestyle, even though it’s a daunting task. I’ve given up for so long, and am so broken down, it’s gonna take a tilt-a-whirl to turn this shit around. Seriously, folks…I’m a hot mess. My armpit hair is the same length as my leg hair, and I haven’t shaved since fall. It’s deep over here, man.

If I’ve learned anything over the last month, it’s that EVERYTHING I LOVE CONTAINS CARBS.

Seriously. WTF? I mean, I’m over here SMDH.

So, this here is my plea for help. What are your favorite low-carb recipes? Do you have a favorite snack you like that won’t bust your carb count? If you have diabetes, do you have any words of wisdom to impart?

Thank you kindly, my dudes. Go in peace, sugar, and bread.

Therapy

I've been in therapy for about a year now. I cannot express how strongly I believe that everyone should be in therapy; no matter how happy and well-adjusted you may feel. To me, there is something that is just so comforting about having someone to talk to (even if they are paid to listen). 

I mentioned to my therapist that I used to write a blog (Skinny Screamer), but I felt that I had run out of things to say. Especially things that people would even care to read. She suggested that I start writing again - not because I have anything of note to say, but because it is an outlet for creativity that I've been missing over the last year. 

So, here we go again.

This past year, for everyone, has been a complete bitch. It has sucked on so many levels. For me, I had a great job, was downsized, was unemployed, got a contract job, was unemployed again, and just started a new job this month. Through it all I had Jolie. I talked, she listened. She talked, I listened. We worked through lots of "stuff" and solved some problems. She encouraged me through my job search, and commiserated when that search was not fruitful. Truly, her assistance and support has been invaluable. 

There is nothing wrong with me. I'm not suicidal or crazy. I don't talk to my therapist because I expect a cure; rather, I employ her to help, to be a touchstone, and to be a voice of reason in my life. She doesn't lie to me, she doesn't offer platitudes, and she doesn't blow smoke. However, one of the coolest things about my Jolie is that she cheers me on for even my smallest of triumphs, like when I drag myself out of the house, or put real clothes on. It's awesome.

I'm not a therapist, but I am a good listener. I now understand how sometimes people just need an unbiased and non-judgmental ear. Aside from work, my goal is to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. If you don't want to get therapy, hit me up. You talk, I'll listen.